can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
