Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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