beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
