I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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