didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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