Where did you get a picture of my penis
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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