gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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