I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
