I want to walk on stilts...naked
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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