So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
