You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
