I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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