i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
