woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
