Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think my vagina is haunted
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize