So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
