Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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