I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
