Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
