Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
