I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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