He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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