i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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