I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
