Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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