I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize