thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
