So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize