i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
