....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Panties = found
Randomize
