we're blogging at a bar
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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