It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
