When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
