I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
