So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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