sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
