Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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