Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
