he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
