going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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