i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
