i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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