Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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