I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
