How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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