Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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