This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
