what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
