At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
A bitchslap is in order.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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