terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
