It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
