you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
