Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize