He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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