bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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