i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
