He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
