exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
