with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
