I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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