I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
